Tag Archives: Facebook

Facebook Lawyers

18 Jul



It happens whenever I log on to Facebook. There I am, minding my own business, when I scroll down to see this political rant, that polarizing viewpoint, here’s how this should be done -yadi yadi ya. LAWYERED. By civilians.

Sometimes I click on the news articles, questionable blog sites, Bible verses, or HILARIOUSLY snarky comic photos (not really) – but most of the time I move on. I’VE GOT BABY PICTURES TO LOOK AT, SON.

Am I clean of this uncouth behavior? Hells to the no on that one, my friend. It was only a year, perhaps two, that I stopped posting really anything politically sensitive. Why? Because, that’s why! Need no ‘splaining here! Okay, I was originally doing it for the shock value. The “Oh, I’m smarter than you and I’m going to write all about it’ reason. It wasn’t to share information that people might find value, and I will admit that. It wasn’t to appear concerned that other people might have interesting and valid opposing views. It was to start a war, and I was hella good at it.

If you don’t know me, I’m pretty socially liberal, fiscally moderate. Oh, while I’m writing this, I did post a few pictures in the past year supporting gay marriage, but yeah, not going to even defend that. Because that viewpoint is awesome. That’s all. (SORRY, OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS, BUT NOT SORRY ON THAT ONE!)

It’s just when a public court case comes up, everyone get’s all up in arms because the system “failed” them. Probably not. I mean, they might not agree with the outcome, I might not too, but usually it amounts to whether a jury find that there is enough evidence to convict or not. If there isn’t, well, there you go.

While I like to spout my own viewpoints, I realize that taking the LSAT and being pre-law in undergrad usually doesn’t mean shit. While a couple logic classes may show me that certain statements are hyperbolic, I don’t have the training to go lecturing people on why this is right or this is wrong. So I’ve stopped defending every stance I have under the sun.

With Facebook, a lot of peeps have pretty left- or right-swinging positions. The ones who post their stances, anyway. It’s highly unlikely that you are going to change someone’s staunch opinion with a witty remark on their posting or by shoving some more statistics out there in Zuckerberg Land. Just not going to happen. Instead, it’s going to inspire eye rolls, online and public gossiping, and more people to wonder, “Why am I still on Facebook?” Really.

So there you go. Here’s my rant and whining about Facebook for the day.

Also, here are a few other things that make me give the throw-up face:

• Posting vague song lyrics. WHY?
• Posting vague anything. WHY? Just don’t vaguebook, people. It’s so … sigh.
• Negative whining and bitching constantly. YUCK.
• Posting everything and anything that happens in your day. I don’t want to know what kind of salad you had for lunch, but I am so glad you enjoyed it. I had leftover Papa John’s Pizza. TASTY!

But please, please, whatever you do, keep posting animal and baby/child photos. For the love of God, I love me some cute pictures. (THIS IS NOT SARCASTIC. I REALLY LIKE THESE PHOTOS A LOT.)


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